Tuesday, December 11, 2012

December so far: A Birthday, an Anniversary, and Mmmmmmmmbeefygoodness...

A couple of things I wanted to share with whoever might be reading out there- both of them late.  In the way of excuses, I never really meant to do a lot of daily-life-type blogging, as it all happens too fast for a slacker like myself to chronicle.  If I try to live life while writing about it in real time, I'll get nowhere fast...I know my limits.  I try to force the world to slow down a bit by procrastinating as much and as often as I can, but it just keeps on spinning no matter what I do(or don't).  The lead in my ass doesn't provide enough friction, apparently.

First, a belated Happy Birthday to my one and only sibling Renee, born Dec 8th 1969.  A full 1127 days older than me, at 43 years old she's doing pretty well considering her advanced age.(joke)  She has always been the absolute best big sister a guy could have.(no joke)  Weird story-I remember one year on her 11th birthday some creepy dude Mark tried to impress her by shooting John Lennon, but that's not the kind of guy my sister would go for anyway, and all it did was piss off Mom something awful.(bad joke)  Crazy days.  I hope you had a great birthday, Renee, and I hope you enjoyed spending it cleaning out your garage.(no joke)  Wow, the crazy party times those 40-somethings go in for, eh?  Either way, Happy Birthday to a great sister.  I have it on good authority that you're a great mom, too.  I'm pretty sure my niece and nephew wouldn't lie about that.  Maybe I'll be able to visit next year and we can clean out the rain gutters!(joke?)    

Also, a happy late 11th Blog-o-versary to the Stupid Evil Bastard at stupidevilbastard.com, also known as Les Jenkins, who crossed the 11-year mark on Dec 2nd. I've been reading his stuff for about 71/2 years now, since the summer of 2005, and I still check in at least once a day to see if anything interesting has crossed his mind.  If you enjoy a healthy dose of skepticism & critical thinking, or a bit of gaming & tech, or wonder what a rational and well-meaning non-believer thinks of all the crazy religious, superstitious, social and tribal things that humans do or all the crazy scams people fall for, or if you just want to read the musings of a cool guy from Michigan, check out the Stupid Evil Bastard.  Do it.  Though I've been slow to start my own writing, I can say without hesitation that it was Les' blog, along with Brent Rasmussen and the other guys at the now-defunct Unscrewing the Inscrutable that inspired me to think that I too could haul out a digital soapbox and join the party.  Thanks Les, for the inspiration and the entertainment, and keep up the good work!

Now back to the business of living....what the hell am I going to have for dinner tonight?  There are only a couple of frozen pork chops at home, but I don't really feel like pork, and I didn't want to go shopping until the new sales papers come out tomorrow....oh, bother and fuck...decisions, decisions.  I want to keep it healthy, so....pizza, or Vons deli fried chicken?  Oooooh, come to think of it, Vons has tri-tip for $3.47/lb this week.....not quite as cheap as I like it, but the sale ends tomorrow and I still have some A-1 sauce at home(BBQ snobs can laugh all they want, I love that shit).  Yup, tri-tip steaks it is, pan-seared in olive oil with some fresh crushed garlic & onion, and maybe a little salad.  Screw the starch, croutons are good enough.  mmmmmmbeefy goodness.  They better not be sold out, whoever they've got running the meat dept there has a bad habit of not ordering enough of the sale items.

mmmmmmmmmmbeefygoodness....by all the Gawds, it will be mine tonight!

             A cow-map to help YOU find mmmmmmmmbeefygoodness.  I already know where the fuck it is!

That's it for now, I'm busy with thoughts of mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbeefygoodness.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Trick or Traitor, Smell the Haters, Wanking like Chronic Masturbators!

Halloween has always been my favorite holiday.  I remember being mildly scolded in kindergarten when I kept fingerpainting halloween scenes well in to other holidays.  Picture a fat, smiling, badly painted Santa in his sleigh, flying over a pumpkin patch full of Jack O'Lanterns, and some bats in the sky behind...good times.  But this year, I'm all growed up and Halloween is on not just a weekday-workday, but a boring-ass Wednesday, so I'm not going to do much of anything special.  I'll probably drink a few beers, strum a little guitar, pet the dog, and try to think up new and exciting topics to blog about. 
   But I did have one little idea today, and I wish that I had thought of it weeks ago, when I would have had time to work on it.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Dark Dungeons...One of the Many Reasons I Love the Internet

So assuming I take a shine to this blogging thing, I will likely get into some pretty heavy political, cultural, and religious issues sooner or later.  But even though I'm going to mention culture and religion in this one, this is not that post.  The heavy and political one, that is.  Not yet.

I am one of those people who genuinely enjoys the essentially meaningless bits of cultural detritus that ebb and flow like driftwood throughout the swampy ecosystem of our combined consciousness.  If I see a decades-old Coke bottle in a vacant lot, I am likely as not to pick it up, try to remember the last time I saw one like that, maybe even take it home, clean it up and set it on a shelf next to my old copies of Mad Magazine for a few years.  I am often amused and even fascinated by old newspapers, magazines, dated advertisements, old pop-culture stuff that must have seemed new, fresh, and vibrant at one time but has become laughably dated if not hopelessly obscure.

  Like this old coffee ad, which suggests that a good marital ass-beating is the proper response to stale coffee and bad shopping habits.  Ah, those were the days!